Fader and I spoke about the role of sexting in relationships. Here's an excerpt:
Dr. Mattu says he’s come to believe that the politics of the nude photo line up pretty perfectly with the politics of consent. “When we think about consent, he explains, “it’s two people actually having a discussion and saying, ‘Hey, I’m wondering if this is something you’re comfortable with, if this is something you’d want to do.’ If both people in the relationship do actually consent to sharing these types of photos or videos with each other, it can actually really strengthen the satisfaction the person has in the relationship.”
Dr. Mattu has a point: as we live an increasing amount of our lives online, it’s inevitable that we’ll have some of the same difficult conversations we have when we’re lying in bed together via text. As Mattu sees it, trouble arises when we use the distance of digital communication as an excuse to avoid having those discussions completely — presenting only the most carefully curated versions of ourselves to each other, blindly hoping we’ll end up on the same page. In other words, depending on the way we use them, nudes can be just as much of a way of exposing ourselves to other people as a way of preventing them from truly seeing us.